This biographical sketch of Oswald Chambers was given to me by a friend for Mother’s Day. Still finishing another book, I waited to start it. I wanted to savor it, I knew I would since My Utmost For His Highest is my favorite devotional and was penned by Mr. Chambers.
The week following our second oldest daughter’s accident I began reading it. Seeking comfort in my daily quiet time in the book of Ezekiel and this new gift. My heart raw and full of emotion.
In the very first chapter, which is a synopsis of his death and a story I was unfamiliar with, I was brought to a breathless halt by this line, “Nothing that happens can upset God or the Almighty Reality of Redemption.” This a quote by Mr. Chambers to the soldiers he was ministering to in Egypt.
The absolute truth of these dozen words penetrated my mind and heart. Nothing that happens can upset God. Do I not believe that He is Omniscient? I asked myself this question: Doesn’t He know everything? And of course, my answer is yes, I know it experientially, I know it from His oral word that became written.
Hannah’s accident did not upset God. It did not surprise Him, it did not catch Him unawares. This comforted my mama heart very much.
Through that first week after her rollover, I kept finding myself overwhelmed with tears. A picture of her at our beach trip, all the siblings in a sweet embrace. Her, enabled by His strength and by His grace to go to work that very next week. She and I kept crying over what could have been. What the alternatives could have entailed.
Why does our mortality always surprise us?
Then somewhere the following weekend I was again reading in this book, and the absolute confidence Chambers and other Christians had in our Heavenly Father impressed me with another truth. Hannah didn’t almost die. No one ever almost dies. We either do or we don’t. And in the sovereignty of God I can rest in the fact that He has a beautiful plan. Whether He calls us home today or thirty years from now, it isn’t an accident.
And this knowledge comforts me, my mama’s heart.
And the fear that I have always struggled with lessens. The imaginary control that I do not have, nor will ever have dissipates. An awareness of a growing trust in Him apprehends me.