Facing fears. (Part one)

fly1

A text shows up in my phone.  “When are you going?”

It had been on my heart.  I silently whisper, “Lord, if You want me to go, make a way.”

I ask our church to pray if I am supposed to go, now, at this time.

The men, later that evening, say yes.  Complete agreement.  You are to go.

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My heart ponders all that this means.  I struggle with laying down my fears.

Where am I going?  That is someone else’s story.  Not mine to tell.  Mine to tell is the facing of fears…the mountains that can seem so large and daunting.

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  • Who am I that you would send me?
  • I have to fly?
  • What if I blow it?
  • What if they don’t like me?
  • What if something painful happens while I am there?
  • What if?
  • What if?
  • What if?

And He calms my heart and says, “Do you love me?”

I parrot Peter, “Lord, you know I do.  You know.”

“Then obey me.”

I ask a fistful of my friends to pray.  Pray.  Two have already said they are compelled to fast and pray.  Answers to my fears before I have even asked.  It is like this preceding the trip.  Holy appointments unfolding as I stay in step.  This resting.  This being still.

And I wonder about the disciple that Jesus loved and how he said,   “Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.” (John 21:25)

I feel that.  The awareness that He is writing many stories over this trip.  In His supremacy, He has ordained and is completing a story that is His perfection.

I marvel.

A friend prays for blue skies, white, puffy clouds.  Which translated is asking for God to do above and beyond anything we could ask or imagine.  That He would be present.

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He answers.  Blue skies, white, puffy clouds.  And all the fear mountains fade away under His glory.  He enables my love for Him to eclipse all else, to want nothing else, but to please Him.

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He answers.

7 thoughts on “Facing fears. (Part one)

  1. Dear Sarah,

    I still do not know what you did. Are you going to mention this in your blog? I hope you are not defensive about what you believe to be a divine commission. If you know that God told you to go to the Parkers, that is all that’s necessary. However, if you start telling the tale, you should let people know what transpired. Since this says Part one, there must be other parts.

    What I love is your willingness to obey.

    Love you!!

  2. I faced my fears and flew to another state, out of obedience. Their story is not mine to tell. I will share what the Lord asks me to share. Not defensive, just matter of fact. He is good.

  3. If you want to know more of happened during the week Sarah was at my house, read my son’s caringbridge page. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/theyoungestof7 That is only about him, but it was a big part of the week.

    Another big part of the week was the prevailing message that God loves us (me, my family, Sarah) and He used tangible things to surround us with His love so there could be no doubt about how He feels. It was amazingly wonderful.

    Sarah, it was beautiful how God’s presence was so tangible at every turn. Having you here was an incredible, perfect gift. Thank you for being obedient. Thank you for coming.

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